ere And now

And now, I'm going to bore you with more of my drivel. Here are some of the pieces I've written these past few weeks. I'm unemployed so I kind of like, got a lot of free time to do this sort of stuff. I hope you find my wit to your liking.

 

 

 

Rambling thoughts of a bored twenty-something

 

Some of the following material you’ll read may be deemed a bit harsh. I suggest that you first ‘open’ your mind before reading this as it contains sensitive material. And I’m sorry if I sometimes sound a bit inconsistent or redundant. And before you judge me, let me just say that I know how it feels to be poor, in love, and unpopular.

 

The world at large is a nice place to live. The people who live in it make it a bad place though.

You can never have too many friends though it may be hard to maintain close relations with each and every one of them.

Good politicians are the kind who retire after one term. Once they get a second term, they turn into greedy, soul-less monsters.

A good book is a fine treasure.

Knowledge can be a double-edged knife. It can be used as a powerful tool or it can lead to your downfall.

Patience is one of the best virtues a person could ever have. Too bad, a lot of people here don’t know that.

Punctuality shows respect to the person you’re to meet and to yourself.

Bad times can bring the worst and finest in people.

The saying "you can never have too much of a good thing" is wrong. Too much of anything corrupts and leads to abuse.

Take time to appreciate nature once in a while. You’ll be surprised to learn that a lot of life’s lessons are taught out in the wilds.

Teachers don’t know this, but when they teach, they impart not just knowledge on the subject, but also their own character.

Learning can be fun. You just have to condition your mind to it.

The people who brag about how rich they are usually aren’t.

Learning should not be just in the classroom. It should also be taught outside. In the real world.

Rock music should never be thought of as noise. Listen closely to the lyrics and you’ll see.

I feel sorry for the people who saw the Blair Witch Project and said that it wasn’t scary. These people lack an imagination.

It’s funny how pain makes you feel alive.

Religion is just an excuse why a lot of people do the things they do in the world.

Morals depend on the view and level of intellect of a person.

The masses don’t realize it but it’s the capitalists who invested their money and not them. Once properly compensated, they can’t demand more. Just think, if you’re the capitalist, wouldn’t you invest your money in a place where the employees made the least trouble? And what’s to stop them from taking their money and investing it in some other place anyway?

In big organizations, the left hand usually doesn’t know what the right hand is doing.

If everyone can just stop thinking of themselves, the world would be a better place.

Sex is a wonderful thing. I don’t know why adults are ashamed to talk about it. Of course, one has to take into consideration the timing.

I’d rather be stuck in a library than in a whorehouse.

Travel does broaden the mind but it’s also a drain on one’s pocket.

Who ever said that education came cheap is probably rich.

Expanding one’s horizons is just another term for wanting to relax awhile.

Americans are fools for thinking that everyone’s impressed with them.

Actors and Actresses make the lousiest politicians as they will do anything to keep their popularity.

Control of a nation is best left to those who have had formal education and those who’re already rich. The masses are fools to think that power should be given to them. People empowerment is a stupid idea that’s never worked anyway. If the masses were given power, they’d just succumb as well. Of course there are always exceptions.

The poor are fools for thinking that they deserve things they haven’t earned. Everyone lives a hard life in one way or another. It just depends on who’s looking at it.

Stupid people are people who think they know what’s best for others.

Love is a dangerous thing. Self-love is even worse.

Televangelists and religious leaders are just people who have a lot of charisma, daring, a little knowledge and a big ego.

Most people who preach and quote from the bible don’t understand it.

No one in the world except a new-born babe can be open-minded.

Calling others hypocrites makes you a hypocrite as well.

People can’t really help themselves when they judge a person by their outside appearance.

Cable TV’s a novel idea. Too bad nothing’s on right now.

Most people think of themselves as having good taste in food. But what is good taste? Does it not depend on one’s experiences with food? So, until there’s a person who’s tasted every dish and desert on the planet. We’ll never know what food should really taste like.

Tasting, experiencing and appreciating wine is a crock of bull. It’s just another excuse to get drunk. Bring it on… hic.

Whoever said that the best things in life are free never tasted a dollop of good gelato in his life.

Losing hair is not a sign of intelligence nor maturity. It’s a sign of baldness.

Fastening a seatbelt should not be mandatory but voluntary. I think that it’s up to the person if he wants to live dangerously.

If anyone says that they really know what an angel looks like, ask them for a reference. The bible doesn’t mention what angels look like. It only mentions an angel-like creature called a Seraphim. And its description is vague as well.

Why did God put us in this world? Is it to venerate Him? To worship Him? I wouldn’t exactly call this life free if all I’m supposed to do is follow Him. What good is free will if you know you’re going to be punished for sinning.

Why do flashlights glow dimly just as the thunderstorm takes the power out?

Nothing happens suddenly. Everything is a consequence of a series of events.

Isn’t it chauvinistic of women to call stuff "a girl thing?" If they call it that, no one notices but if guys say "it’s a guy thing," we’re branded as male chauvinists.

Men and women are not much different from each other. Just ask all the old and happily married couples.

John Gray’s parents must be divorced.

Basketball, football and baseball are over-rated sports. Isn’t it stupid to watch these athletes throw balls all day? We should just put our energies into farming.

Talking to plants is a great way to relieve stress. Whoever said that it makes plants grow did not take up science.

Saying that humans evolved from monkeys is stupid. Saying that we’re here because of some divine being who got lonely playing with His angels and wanted something different is even worse.

Good manners are a reflection of one’s respect for one’s self. It’s not to show that one is more civilized than another.

When prophets say that science can’t explain how we came about them ask him, what bad thing happened to him so as to let him cling to his so-called faith so. It’s probably another sob story. Science can’t explain it because we still lack research, equipment and facts to know. They haven’t even figured out what’s under the sea yet, what more creation.

Valentine’s was made into a worldwide event so that the capitalists will make a killing out of it. Damn those capitalists.

If you want to catch a glimpse of real modern technology, read the comic books.

Babies, toddlers and kids would be wonderful if only they didn’t make noise, slept at night and didn’t need to be changed.

The best chocolate in the world is the first one you ever ate. Didn’t it make you want to have more?

Everyone should have P.O. Boxes.

Isn’t it a pain when people go to your house to surprise you?

Religious fanatics are one of the worse kinds of people in the world. Their Holier-art-than-thou mentality makes them the biggest hypocrites. Of course, I’m a hypocrite for saying that.

It isn’t the fault of the man if he goes looking for another because the woman he’s with, decides to ruin her body and still want the man to find her desirable. A woman should please the man so as to lure him to her bed so as to have power over him.

And the man should keep his stomach trim. Man, think of how it hurts your wife when you do it with her and your beer belly keeps on slapping her.

Too bad feminism was born.

It’s better to hire somebody to do something and getting to blame him for a mistake than you doing the thing yourself and blaming yourself for mistakes.

I don’t know why music enthusiasts love live concerts. Doesn’t the applause get in the way of the music?

Girls are fools to think that boys should always understand them. Boys are fools too if they thought the same way.

Understanding depends on the level of intelligence and upbringing of a person and not on the age or level of education. Before they impart with what their knowledge, they should first think if that person could understand them.

A diploma is not an adequate nor an accurate measuring stick of what a person knows.

A person is stupid to think that to learn, one has to enroll in a school.

Jogging is the best exercise. It’s also the cheapest.

Did Mary stay a virgin after she gave birth to Jesus? After watching Dogma, I conclude that Joseph must have taken a vow of celibacy since Jesus never had any brothers or sisters.

Those who think that Beavis and Butthead was a sick cartoon must live in total denial. You want something sick? Watch pee-wee herman.

Those who try to be "cool" end up losers. It’s better to be a loser than to be someone you are not. At least you’ll be among losers and you’ll be able to relate to other losers.

Let old people tell you their stories. Who knows what you might learn from them. And besides, they’re just lonely.

The secret to be rich? Live way below your means and put all your savings in the bank.

I really don’t know why South Americans and Europeans go crazy watching a bunch of guys kick a ball.

You want to see some real wrestling? Watch rugby.

I don’t know why we have to put up with faggots and lesbians. Aren’t they the minority? I have nothing against them but will they just stop their whining?

Getting a massage is great. Having wild sex is better.

I don’t know why Christians see rock music as the devil’s music. Haven’t they heard of Petra, Jars of Clay, Vertical Horizon, Splender and DC Talk? And if you don’t know the names I mentioned, these are all Christian rock bands.

Isn’t it stupid to go into a relationship with a bad person? Well, why don’t you ask girls what their reasons could be? I bet they’d say that these bad eggs are really nice guys. Yeah. Sure. Or is it just the ‘mother’ syndrome kicking in?

A boy is a jerk if he only notices a girl because she looks like she just woke up.

Isn’t it stupid for the president to surround himself with advisers? I mean, doesn’t he know what to do let alone what’s happening?

Cheerleaders aren’t really appreciated. Cheerleading is hard work and well, jocks should be kept in the background and cheerleaders should be out in the limelight.

Isn’t it fun to slurp soup?

Rice is a wonderful cereal. You can make a lot of stuff from it. From porridge to cakes.

People should use the dictionary more often. It doesn’t hurt to improve your vocabulary you know?

It isn’t Bill Gate’s fault that he turned into a billionaire. It’s his luck and hard work paying off.

Driving is fun at first but a pain as you get older. It’s more fun to have a driver drive you around town. Isn’t it a pain when you have to look for a parking slot?

The loveliest suit is your birthday suit even though you had a lousy tailor.

Though Pret-a-porter usually doesn’t fit well, it’s still fun to buy. Besides, shops have tailors who do the alterations right?

It’s fun to go to the tailor to be measured isn’t it? It makes you feel special and important.

There’s nothing like a 21 oz. Rib-eye steak cooked medium rare over hickory with lots of herbs and oozing in butter.

Get a duplicate card key of your car keys to be kept in your wallet. You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve locked myself out of the car with the keys still in.

Moisturize and refresh your feet every day. They’ll feel better after a rough day and they’ll smell better too.

Dragons are cruel creatures. Calling them wyrms is but apt.

Don’t make promises. Promises are hard to keep. Just say you’ll try your best.

Gelato is a gift from the gods above.

Quattro Formaggi, Clam chowder, Bhudda jumped over the wall and French Onion soup are the best soups in the world!!! ( at least in my opinion )

Roasted Goose with plum sauce will make you dizzy with it’s cholesterol but we all must die someday right? Better to have lived deliciously than lived blandly.

I hate baths. I can’t believe I’d wash myself with my own dirty water. If you want to feel clean, scrub yourself in the shower. I love whirling hot tubs though.

It’s absolutely refreshing to breathe fresh mountain air after a hard day.

I’m for abortion. It’s the choice of the mother if she wants to be condemned or not. After all, she’s the one carrying the kid.

All the stuff you see on X-rated movies are just for the movies. They don’t happen in real life.

There isn’t anything as soft as a bunny to hug is there?

I hate Mickey Mouse. I find the thought of watching, imitating and admiring a filthy rodent revolting.

I like Daffy Duck because he’s silly.

Is Goofy a dog? Well, if he is, then Pluto’s a what?

Nothing feels as good on the skin as soft calf leather.

Everyone should have at least a pair of trainers, boots, suede shoes, oxfords, hiking shoes in his wardrobe.

Always wear clothes that are not in season. That way, you’d stand out with minimum effort.

Sports a person must try : bowling, soccer, wall climbing, cycling, sky diving, jet ski racing, skiing, scuba snorkeling, paintball, ultimate frisbee, off-road racing and street luge.

Hard wood furniture is the best furniture.

Get yourself a pet. It’ll do wonders to your life.

Smile more often. You’d be surprised that people will be nicer to you.

Always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Too bad a lot of people have lousy taste.

Modern art is just another excuse for the rich to waste their money on. If you want to see art, look at impressionists works.

A nice watch is a good investment. It’ll last you a long time and hopefully, you can pass it on to your son.

Don’t you think jewelry’s a bad investment? When you’re hard-up for money, it’s a pain to sell and you usually get a bad price for it but when you want to buy some, the price just reaches the heavens. In other words, if you can’t really afford it, don’t buy.

I hate playing the stock market. It’s definitely a gamble. I’ve seen people blow away their life savings over a rumor.

If you hear gossip about you, let it be. Sooner or later, the truth will come out.

It’s best to tackle a problem while it’s still small right? But what if you’re feeling awfully lazy. What then? Hmm…

Protect your good name always. Without it, we are nothing. As we are still quite young and have very little achievements tucked under our belt, it is best to have a name smelling like roses.

Why is it so hard to earn money and so easy to squander?

Little victories count.

Be wary of the police. They can be serving their own purposes.

Study the law carefully, you’ll find it full of holes.

Why is it that on Sundays, people drive slowly?

And why is it that on Saturday nights, people drive drunk?

I don’t know how this could be, but don’t you find it curious how people have developed a taste for gourmet coffee overnight? I’ve been drinking coffee for years and I find it hard to believe when these "coffee drinkers" say that this bean is a little bit different in taste than the others.

And I don’t know why people like the brand POLO so much. I mean, do they even know the sport?

I hate it when people send me quotes on my cellphone. Don’t they know how to talk? I mean, I’d appreciate it more if the stuff they’re sending is an original rather than a hand-me-down. I’d love to see their own work, bad grammar and all. It’d mean more. Much more.

Shopping is only fun when you have money.

Not every Asian knows self-defense.

I sometimes hate being part-chinese. The chinese usually look down at me and the Filipinos look to me not as an equal, but a foreigner who should be driven out.

The Filipino-Chinese are fools to think that they’re superior to the Filipinos. In my eyes, they eat the same food, walk the same road and shit the same stuff.

Don’t you feel weird when you smell the scent of rain falling down on the pavement on a hot afternoon?

If you’re planning to go into business, why not go into agriculture. At the rate the population’s growing, you’ll make a killing soon and it’s good for the environment too.

It ain’t bad to be paranoid.

Never buy fakes. I’d rather buy an original cheapo than a fake. Once more, if you can’t afford it, don’t buy.

The bathroom is a special place to think. At least to me it is.

Magic? Does such a thing exist? It would be wondrous if it did.

Hotdogs taste better if you don’t slice them open when you cook them.

The first snow fall of winter is absolutely beautiful.

The best part of the changing of autumn into winter is "indian summer"

What’s nice about summer? The holidays.

You know what’s naughty and nice after winter? Spring Break.

Cherry Blossoms falling down from trees reminds me of Japan.

Have you ever seen a green sea on land? If you haven’t it’s located in Tuscany. It’s the sea of olive trees.

To make a better tomato sauce, you have to use real tomatoes. Place the tomatoes in the freezer for a few minutes then drop them into boiling water. Take them out after a few seconds and roll them around until their skins fall off. Now, the tomatoes are ready for stewing into a sauce.

Everything comes to he who waits.

The best way to impress girls is to be your self.

Don’t you love the way Scots talk?

It’s only nice to drive when you’re either in a new car or when there’s no traffic.

Going around corners fast is fun. Feeling the G’s when driving is the best part.

Driving an old, beat-up car is fun too. It’s like driving a huge bump car.

There is nothing as beautiful as a rose except another rose.

A wild and vivid imagination is needed to appreciate books.

When dreaming, isn’t it better to dream something wonderful and forgetting it completely upon awakening rather than having a nightmare that sticks to your memory the whole day?

Sometimes, it is better to give information in small doses. People usually can’t handle the truth.

I hate it when I go bowling and all of these know-it-alls try to coach me. It’s not that I think I’m good but I just wish that they’d let me develop my own technique and not develop theirs.

Even though it’s a pain in the pocket, it is better to offer to pay first than be branded a cheapskate who’ll win at the national wallet slow draw contest.

I hate it when bits of food get stuck in my teeth without my knowing.

It’s better to carry generic plastic bags than to use ones that come from a store where you do your shopping. Tongues will wag and say that you’re showing off when they see the mark of the store on the plastic bag.

The reason I hate my relatives? Well, it’s because they’re bloodsuckers and money grabbers.

Are you a fan of a certain artist? Well if you are then maybe you’ll opt to buy original albums rather than pirated ones. The artist that you like won’t receive a penny from bootleg copies.

I just love the night. It’s so romantic, cool and beautiful. The perfect atmosphere for sleeping.

I hate the smell of wet dogs.

I just love it when my parrots swim in the birdbath. They make an awful lot of splashing.

Watching fish lay eggs or spawn fry makes keeping fish worth its while.

My favorite part of a woman’s body? Her bum.

Three things essential in a relationship are trust, understanding and love. Without one of these, the relationship will fall apart.

Don’t you just love getting new clothes?

It is important to match the color of one’s hosiery to one’s pants or shoes.

As much as possible, I try to match the colors of my accessories. Don’t you find it pretty if everything matches?

Honestly, I don’t know what people love about smoking. I used to smoke. I smoked a pack a day and well… I didn’t find it enjoyable at all though I felt bad. Bad in the sense that I found it sort of cool.

I just love using mint don’t you? The tingling sensation it leaves behind completely refreshes.

The most horrible monsters are the ones who are well fed, well bred and well groomed.

I hate it when Snoopy’s imagination runs wild. It reminds me of me.

Managing a company is not unlike being the head of a family. Both involves giving much attention, nurturing, trust and love.

It’s not only men who like to run in the wilds.

Trust me on this, listening to the drum beats in a rock song can make you sleepy.

In the real world, what counts is not what you know but who you know.

Popularity can sometimes be dreadful., especially when rumors start to run wild.

Deceit and cunning are two qualities that can make a person successful. Too bad they can’t make this person into a man.

It’s terribly horrible to find your self become like your parents.

I wouldn’t call staring into a book for hours amidst four walls in a so-called nurturing environment studying. I’d call it punishment.

True love. Now there’s something to dream about.

The best part in courting a girl is the getting-to-know-each-other stage. Afterwards, unless you fall in love, it’s all down hill.

I don’t find candles mysterious and romantic. I find them absolutely dim.

The less a person knows about worldly things, the more apt he is to tell the truth. If you don’t believe me, just hear out what kids have to say.

It’s better to be dubbed the class moron than being called a know-it-all. At least when you’re the moron, people laugh at you rather than despise you.

When driving, don’t ever entertain second thoughts.

When religious people say that it’s bad to judge others, it’s time for them to look in the mirror.

I just love being human. It gives me an excuse why I do all these stupid things.

Why is it that it takes only a minute for you to gain the inch you spent a month losing?

Teachers aren’t better than students. They learn while they teach. They do so by learning about relationships, character and proper demeanor whilst in the classroom. Too bad teachers are poor students.

It’s better to be a starving mendicant and have free will than a pot-bellied slave who blindly follows his master’s wishes.

If you find it hard to choose clothes for everyday work or say school., create your own uniform.

The best way to lose those love-handles is to sway your hips constantly.

The best talkers are all con-artists.

I don’t know why corporations give fancy names to job titles. For example, a sales agent can be called an account executive.

I heard before as a kid that if you were ugly when you were little, you’d turn into someone beautiful when you grow up. ( shades of the ugly duckling ) Well, I know this girl who was really ugly then. She’s still ugly today.

If someone asks how beautiful a girl is and the answer is she’s kind. You can bet your savings that she’s probably ugly.

I don’t know why people long for danger when they lead perfectly boring lives.

An idle mind remains idle unlike idle hands.

Don’t you think a sea sponge looks like a brain? They even have the same qualities. They both like to absorb.

I find it amusing to see a child grow into an adult. Just last semester, my teacher learned to admit his mistakes.

Popular people usually have something big and stinky to hide.

There’s nothing worse than a know-it-all jerk who won’t admit he’s wrong.

While you’re single, try to appreciate your friends more. Once all of you start to walk down the aisle, you’ll miss them for sure.

The people who profess to be Holy usually are evil. They just don’t know it yet.

If you have an enemy, try to make sure that he doesn’t know about it.

Walking down lonely alleys will clear your mind. Just give it some time.

Religious tolerance is the only thing we need to stop all of these "holy wars."

Why does food taste better when you’re hungry?

The most misunderstood people in the world are politicians. Only they themselves know what they really want.

To err is human, to forgive is divine but never ever forget the trespass as this’ll teach a lesson not only to the trespasser but also to you.

Comprehension. Now that’s something everyone needs to learn.

Everyone has darkness in their souls, after all, we’re only human.

The world would be a better place without the species we call homo sapiens.

Does anyone really know what Jesus looked like? The Bible never made any mention of his appearance.

It’s really funny how the Muslim religion and Christianity seems to come from the same roots.

Take away the deity of each religion and you’ll get stuck with lots of religions that sound generally the same.

It’s funny how the people with the most wild imaginations are religious fanatics.

A warrior with brute strength, skill, bravery and valor is dangerous. A warrior with faith is even more.

It’s sad to see why people can’t see that understanding is all we need to have world peace.

Everyone should have principles no matter how twisted. It defines our being.

When dreaming, it is better to close the eyes.

You know what makes the sunsets of Manila beautiful? The haze from smog.

Do you think it would it be fun if we could see the insides of people? I don’t think so. If we could, we’d have war constantly.

Avoid exposure to the sun. It’ll make you look older.

Not everyone who looks dirty is. I know a lot of seemingly ‘clean’ people with poor hygiene.

I don’t know why people love to show how uncouth, boorish and lacking in manners they are.

Don’t you love it when no one wants the last slice of Pizza?

Everyone thinks they have a sense of humor. This may be true but I don’t find it funny.

I know a lot of people would argue with me on this, but some of the best foods come from food stalls.

When dreaming, try not to follow in Alice’s footsteps.

I don’t know why people have a compulsion to try something they know is bad for them. Maybe it’s because deep down, we’re all just plain destructive.

If you’re poor, you’re called insane, crazy, even looney but if you’re rich, you’re called eccentric or maybe even an artist.

The time between heartbreak to hate is short.

Lying to others can be forgiven but lying to your self is unforgivable.

You can never be too old to learn. You can only be too stubborn.

Some questions can only be answered by "because."

Take away the hopes and dreams of a man and he’ll be broken.

Isn’t it amazing how Madonna keeps on transforming herself?

Michael Jackson is a child molester. I don’t know why he stills sells records.

Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. It shows we have a soul.

We could all get thin if we just ate what we needed but isn’t it wonderful to eat seconds?

Not everyone is born equal. I was born bald.

Everyone wants what he can not possess.

I hate hills when I jog. Don’t you?

Dogs aren’t man’s best friend.

Why is it that in comic books, no one seems to die?

It’s only in the movies where good guys win. If you don’t believe me take a good look around.

Before people in a relationship confront each other, the offending party should first think of all worst case scenarios. If he can’t take what might be, it’d be better for everybody if he just kept his mouth shut.

I don’t know why a lot of guys have this urge to insert their thingies where they don’t belong. Same thing for girls. It’s sickening and revolting.

People who never have their own opinion are an empty shell.

It’s better to have an evil enemy than a ‘good’ enemy. The former is more predictable.

Do you want to know a person? Ask him his interpretation of Korn’s "falling away from me."

Sex is better when you’re about to get caught.

Do you know what a perfect marriage is? It’s where you completely accept all the bad and good things from your lifetime partner.

I’ve seen a lot of people hate my guts openly. They’re better than the ones who don’t know what to make of me. At least they made up their minds.

I don’t know why I’m popular at school. Maybe it’s because I usually keep to myself.

I dislike Julia Roberts. She’s not a good actress and she’s got an awfully huge mouth to boot.

What a person listens to is not a barometer to his character and personality.

Isn’t it nice to wake up to hot and buttered flaky croissants and scones?

People who need somebody to eat with them can never be independent.

I don’t know why the Japanese love to make these characters like Pikachu and Hello Kitty but they sure are cute.

The future does not lie in the hands of many, it lies in the hands of a few. Too bad they’re all bumbling idiots.

What is it with the new millenium? People are dying like flies. I’ve been to eighteen funerals in the first half of the year alone.

You want to get depressed? Read the news.

You want a troubling thought? Here’s one : notice how violence and sex sells like hotcakes?

The best-laid plans have a tendency to unravel.

The family corporation usually has a life expectancy of three generations. The first establishes it, the second makes it grow, and the third? Well, the third runs it to the ground.

Try to be silly once in a while. You’ll be surprised how much pent-up stress it’ll relieve.

Tuesday is the worst day of the week.

Cyber sex is only enjoyed by people with a wild imagination.

Christopher Walken, Jack Nicholson and Gary Oldman are the best villains.

The best actor who played Batman was Michael Keaton.

You’d be surprised how many supposedly ‘great’ people in history have died due to a sexually transmitted disease.

We should stop developing terrible weapons that can kill thousands of people with just a push of a button. It takes away the honor in combat.

It used to be that girls were oppressed. It used to be.

I find it difficult to understand why girls gun for women’s lib and still want guys to remain chivalrous.

Comic books should never be made into movies. Comic book fans are almost always disappointed with the finished product.

Did you notice that there is a proliferation of movies, commercials and products aimed for teens? Teens have money now. Their parents are broke from supporting them.

I don’t know why jocks at school should be looked up to. They’re just a bunch of airheads with overblown egos to me. They can’t even function properly in the real world.

I don’t know what could be worse, a plotting enemy or a supposedly ‘friend.’

Once in a while, immerse your self in fantasy. It’ll help you live longer.

My best meals of the day are breakfast, lunch and dinner.

When you’re at a party and you’re not sure how to act, it’d be best to be yourself. Of course, if you were an obnoxious asshole, it’d be better for everyone if you just stayed at home.

Decadent as it is, chocolate is heavenly.

It’s hard to adjust to peace and quiet if you’ve lived in a rat hole. It’s even harder if you came from a bird’s nest.

I hate relatives. They’re just the sort who’d drag you down and cramp your style. Though there are times when they can be made useful.

Can’t sleep? Read war and peace by Leo Tolstoy.

It’s infuriating to find that the wheel of life ran over a nail and has therefore run out of air.

Isn’t it funny how the water makes you burp constantly when you swim?

Even though it seems that the cleanest pool would be the children’s pool, I still wouldn’t swim in it. My reason? Well, children have poor bladder control.

The rush you feel when reaching the top of a mountain after days of climbing is great. The view is even greater.

The sins of the father should never be answered for by the son.

Children should be taught to learn to swim at an early age. Look at me, I’m old and still don’t know how to swim.

Though it’s bad, revenge is fun.

Back in high school, I thought that the coolest thing was to be able to own a car. I was wrong.

Character is the best haberdasher.

Though it is not known to many, Americans do have culture. Too bad it’s not theirs.

The worst citizen is the one who dreams to live in another country. Too bad for the Philippines where almost everybody wants to.

Doesn’t it drive you nuts to know that the car battery just gave it’s last hurrah and you’re in the middle of a traffic jam?

Even if the meal you’re eating is absolutely delicious, always leave room for dessert.

The nice thing when you’ve reached rock bottom is you know things can’t get worse.

It’s better to be the leader of a project with uncooperative members than to be a member with an uncooperative leader.

What’s the best gift in the world? Friendship.

You know what’s nice about being bald? The feel of the wind on your plate after you’ve just had a shower.

I once thought that love made the world go round. What a fool I was.

If you feel that your legs turn into mush, your heart starts pounding in your head and you start to stutter when you talk. This isn’t love, it’s strong attraction. But the good thing is that it can turn into love.

What’s the most used three words in the world but the people who say it really don’t know what it means? "I love you."

You know what’s better than to sleep in a warm comfy bed in winter? It’s to sleep with someone wrapping their arms around you in winter.

Before you pick a fight in a bar, think, would you want to go home with a beer bottle in your arse?

The people of old must have had very thick bums. I just rode a horse the other day for a couple of hours and my bum was sore for days.

I don’t know why small pieces of cloth on a woman can make my pulses race faster than when she’s wearing her birthday suit.

Most people don’t know this but cabbage makes a person fart. It must be why Russia stinks.

I honestly don’t know why some guys have relationships with their cars.

Even though your mom’s cooking tastes like pig slop, I’m sure you’ll miss it when you leave home.

My country, the Philippines is a poor country pretending to be rich. Its people are even worse. They know that they don’t have money but still spend it like water disillusioning them selves to be rich.

In all my years of studying, I have learned that to be a good student, one just needs a good memory. But to be learned, now that’s another thing.

I’m afraid to say this but during the times I’ve been on the internet, I’ve found that most people there are uncouth boors with overblown egos. And we call these guys the future? Please.

I hate doctors and lawyers. Why? Well, it’s because I find the idea of making a buck out of someone’s misfortune disturbing.

Don’t you just love the smell of butter melting in the pan?

Everyone should be left alone once in a while as this will serve as a time for the person that was left alone to know himself.

If one would but listen, the winds have a tale to tell.

Succumbing to one’s passions is not a crime, to suppress this is.

The world would be glad if sharp tongues were in short supply these days.

If a woman wants to bag a man then my advice is "the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach." But if she wants to understand him heart and soul then she’d need only understand the man by accepting him as an intelligent being capable of speech and emotion and not as an animal to be nurtured and fed. Sadly, I’m afraid that most women think of the opposite sex as the latter.

And men shouldn’t think of women as mere cooks, a mother to their sons or someone to ravage after a hard day’s work. Women are more than that, they are our lifetime partner, confidant and loving friend.

What’s the perfect dessert? French apple pie sizzling with caramel syrup on a skillet topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream and nuts served to a background of soothing music and the company of good friends.

Why is it that when you’re on a diet, the temptation of midnight snacks become more alluring?

Remember, when joining any sort of organization, you are the one adding your own individuality and talents to it and not the other way around. Organizations have a way of erasing one’s identity you know?

It’s best to let your heart guide your footsteps but keep your eyes open. We don’t want to step on anyone’s toes now do we?

I hate the idea of growing old and not being able to do things myself. Just the idea of it makes me want to die young.

I wonder what ever happened to Vanilla Ice?

Think of competition as not an arena wherein you should win but a class where lessons shall be taught.

Eat lots of fiber everyday. You’d be surprised how charming you can be with your colon devoid of waste.

If you think you have it bad, try to imagine yourself as Charlie Brown.

Don’t walk in the rain if you feel bad, you’d only feel worse after.

Don’t you just love opening a box whose contents you already know?

Rain on a Sunday afternoon soothes the savage beast within.

Don’t depend too much on technology. Heaven knows how helpless you’d be if a massive power failure and a shortage of batteries suddenly hit.

Ever told someone that he was special? I’d advise against this. My reason is that there is a great possibility that this person would put this idea in his head and not in his heart thus adding to the world’s population of dolts who feel they’re ‘superior.’ Everyone on this planet is born normal. Even royalty. It is up to the person to prove himself that he is indeed special.

In awkward moments, the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.

They say that music can tame the savage beast. I guess it’s true. Just look at me.

Love is a treasure that no one really knows where it’s been hidden. The only ones who have discovered are not telling. I guess it’s up to each of us to try and find it. But don’t go looking to hard, you might discover that your imagination’s working overtime.

What is love to me? It’s a state of being wherein you become selfless. You only exist in the one you love as she exists in you.

I used to think of food presentation as a way of charging exorbitant prices at fine restaurants. Since I’ve learned to appreciate food in all its glory, I found out that I was wrong.

Things that have remained hidden for a long time are best left hidden.

Don’t read a book and type on the computer afterwards. It’s hell on the eyes.

I like my knapsack. It’s really great. You can put a lot of stuff in it and hang it on your back so that your arms are free. Too bad it clashes with almost every outfit I own.

After you hang up the phone, always dial another number. One that you don’t know. What’s it for? Well, it’s for the creeps who like to push the redial button to see who you called before.

Damn!!! I’ve been looking at Pikachu so long that the rats at the pier are starting to look cute.

Isn’t it weird when it’s drizzling outside and the sun’s blasting its rays at the same time.

It’s funny how my country’s called one of the most literate nations in South East Asia and still the folks from around go regularly to a witch doctor.

I hate it when my stomach lurches in the elevator.

I find it funny when I’m in a swimming pool and the people there… well, their boogers start coming out of their noses. Hehehe…

Don’t you just hate it when the computer you just bought for a small fortune three months ago is now half price? Gggrrr!!!

With the advent of modern technology, communication has bounded by leaps and strides making it easier for us to contact one another. It’s also become increasingly difficult to keep one’s privacy. I think I’ll be buying me on of those super zoom cameras with an ultra-sensitive mike.

I really don’t think it’s fair to blame Eve for biting the apple. And besides, why was it there anyway?

In the Archie comic strip, I like Jughead best. Why? Well, it’s because I can relate to him. We share the same two loves. Food and sleep.

Why is it that you can tolerate the smell of your own fart when you can’t tolerate the smell from others.

Want to get laid? I got three words for you. Lower your standards.

 

To home

To see some silly rhymes

Soumaly's Poems For Me

Pics

About me