Well, I guess that you're rather curious as to what kind of stuff i write about. I write about a lot of things like love, friends, girls and guys, what I think is cool and a whole bunch of things that will interest a person of my age. Some people say that I've got talent while some say that I'm a lousy excuse for a writer. Please read and tell me what you think ok? you can forward your comments to my email address at Kitiarauthmathar@yahoo.com

Poems

Friends

 

a friend is what you have in me

i’ll help you, i won’t charge a fee

‘cause we have trust, faith, and love

we fit each other like a glove

 

*I wrote this one for my best buddy.

 

-Hope-

 

the sea is like life

it is full of strife

yet please do not mope

for there is still hope

hope like what? you ask

like the sun in which i bask

that shines after a bit of rain

to take away that spot of pain

 

*this one I wrote for a friend who was feeling low

 

 

SoulMate

 

you are my life

without you i would die

like breath you keep me

 

you are my soul

you satisfy my longing

the picture, you do complete

 

but I don’t know you

where are you

do you look for me too

 

we are fragments

separated, yet are one

will i find you

 

my heart beats in your soul

i draw breath from you

i need you

 

soon shall we meet

it is our fate

do not be lonely

 

i am not lonely

 

 

*I wrote this when I was lonely

 

 

 

-Rejected-

 

my thought are unkind

problems in my mind

 

i ache with every thought

i did all just for naught

 

affections rejected

my heart can’t be mended

 

the burning rage inside

is rushing like the tide

 

i always try to keep it in check

but one day, what the heck

 

inside there is a pain

interfering with my brain

 

my heart feels really numb

i want to chop off my thumb

 

i have suffered enough

will someone call my bluff

 

why does no one like me

am i really that ugly ?

 

*this was written when I had low self-esteem

 

 

-In Love-

 

i am in a bind

i feel like i am blind

kiss my behind

i’m not losing my mind

 

do you think i make sense

are you really that dense

i’m not talking nonsense

I’m just a little bit tense

 

i’m in love can’t you see

so please, just let me be

my minds messed up, oh gee

i sincerely hope she notices me

 

 

*I wrote this when I had a crush on my classmate

 

 

-Outside In-

 

you’re cute, you’re pretty on the outside

but what are you like really, deep down inside

are you good, are you bad, now I know

you’re bad to the core, you’re now my foe

once we were friends, now we’re not

you used me, abused me for your own plot

now that you’re happy and very much content

down to the dumps, our friendship you sent

fine by me, if that’s what you want

i’m not the type to rave and rant

our friendship is ended, it died, it’s gone

i’ve said my peace, now i’m done

 

*this one’s when I learned her true self

 

 

-Taken for Granted-

 

Life is a bitch, it is oh it is

the people I care for, I really do miss

why is it, my friends take me for granted

its enough to fill me with lots of hatred

i’m always here to hear out their problems

whenever it’s my turn, i just can’t find them

i’m busy, i’m sorry, oh please understand

i can’t entertain you, i’m in great demand

you treat them like friends, they treat you like shit

they must think of me as a person with low wit

they come up with excuses, alibis and lies

you know and i know, what they do ain’t nice

i can’t believe how a friend can be cruel

but now i know i’ve been played for a fool

to my damn friends may you rot in hell

i sincerely hope that you are not well

 

*this was when I was taken for granted by some of my friends

 

 

‘my thoughts exactly’

 

a dark tunnel I get lost in

I think I’m a has been

I hate fucking Mondays

it’s the worst, some say

my life’s a mess, it’s arbitrary

sometimes I think I’m in solitary

a lot of people are quite synthetic

that’s the reason I’m apathetic

how can you ever feel loving devotion

to a world full of scum and pollution

sometimes I feel like a tumbleweed

pushed around by what fate bids

sometimes I try to be positive

but I can’t help feeling negative

all the laughter and the lies

that of which I totally despise

I definitely

don’t wanna be

living in a fantasy

just be happy

but it’s so damn hard

like a lousy deal in cards

how can I ever learn

when another life is what I yearn

I’m a lonely star in a big, black sky

that is why, I wanna die

 

*I was feeling low here

 

 

OF LATE…

 

I’m a bit screwed up

nothing makes any sense

coffee spills from my cup

guess I am kind of tense

 

to me the skies were always gray

night and day, they seemed that way

then came you, the skies turned blue

to my eyes, a brand new hue

 

I looked through the window, felt the breeze

everything’s different, even the trees

surrounded I was, by walls quite tall

one by one, they began to fall

 

things are not as they were before

lo and behold, you’ve opened a door

how? I guess, I think i know

with the help of cupid and his bow

 

people used to think of me as something weird

whenever I am near, they usually sneered

if I could, I would, and I think I should

but I’m always a bit, quite misunderstood

 

so I let things be, because they don’t see

that I only want to be simply just me

 

used to be, I was a hot desert

parched and alone, I was hurt

you were the cold rain that quenched my thirst

you alone lifted, that which was my curse

 

now I’m older and a little bit bolder

it’s like I woke from a deep, deep slumber

roused I was, by your bubbly laughter

not much else, could ever be nicer

 

and may I add that I’m hypnotized

by your beautiful, big, brown eyes

I’m also enchanted with your sweet smile

your smile is one that really beguiles

 

my world once stopped, it is now spinning

a look at my face, you could see I’m smiling

for now my life has a bit of reason

and now I’m waiting for the change of season

 

I’m a wee bit afraid, I have something to ask

for me this is not such an easy task

is it asking too much if I asked you?

that I want you to love me as I love you

 

now don’t be hasty in giving an answer

if you don’t love me, I won’t be a stranger

 

if you say ‘nay’ I’d understand

love is not something that one can demand

but if you say ‘aye’ it’d make my day

in every possible, conceivable way

 

I dare not say that I deserved you

but at least I know that my words are true

I have thought of this, through and through

and wait for your answer is but all I can do

 

now you know why I am tense

my stomach is tied with knots immense

nervous am I, my hands are as ice

a gamble I did, just like with dice

 

*this is my fave poem. Funny thing is, I wrote this just a month ago. When I was loveless.

 

 

-one night romance-

 

to the hard rock café, last night, I’ve been

because it’s the hippest place to be seen

as I entered, I scanned the area

I averted my gaze ‘cause I saw lea

that was when that I first noticed

a pretty, sexy girl, the type that hissed

across the floor I saw her eyes

that was when I got mesmerized

I sucked in my gut and made my approach

all my friends, at my back, they coached

her soulful eyes, locked on my gaze

I saw that even through the damn haze

I told myself that this is it

now or never, my eyes were lit

her name was Kate, such a beautiful name

into my boring existence, she came

we danced a dance that was so dope

I didn’t know how I could have coped

after the jig, my knees were weak

the night, I felt, had reached it’s peak

I held her hand and told her this

‘I love you, can I have a sweet little kiss’

she gave me a peck, that lasted forever

I then proceeded to ask her, her number

she wrote it down on a piece of napkin

then I heard my name being called through the din

my friends all wanted to head out of the place

so I took the napkin, the night wasn’t a waste

as I got slowly into the car

the smile on my face, just had no par

as my friends drove on, into the night

I took a glance at the number, and then took fright

the number was gone, I got the wrong one

damn, the night was not yet truly won

I asked my friends to please head back

lest I get a frigging heart attack

she was gone, when I got there

not even a trace of her lovely brown hair

‘damn!’ I said ‘what lousy luck!’

‘I am sometimes such a careless fuck!’

at least the night was not a total loss

my one night romance was just the most

*wrote this last year in december.

 

 

bummer world

 

woke up this morning feeling different

seems like nothing is as it should be

things are getting pretty decadent

all of this crap and debauchery

 

why is the sky azure

why is it that I’m not so sure

is there not something innocently pure

is the world beyond all cure

 

* I hated the world when I wrote this

 

mAnILa

 

manila, manila, I live in manila

this big city is but one bad area

the smoke is thick, the water’s black

it could give an old man a heart attack

could you lay blame on cute Claire Danes

for saying that manila is just a bane

the prices are rising, the economy’s dwindling

the common man has definitely nothing

the government is really corrupt

the central bank is even bankrupt

the masses are just about ready to erupt

one little thing could make the peace disrupt

gone were the days when we were ahead

all the good politicians are dead

our president was a movie star

his moral record is surely marred

he rose to this rank because of popularity

can you lay blame on the people for their stupidity

I only pray that things will be all right

I hope that manila will rise to new heights

 

* I wrote this coz my city stinks.

 

 

‘woManizer’

 

to other guys who feel superior

I want to kick your lousy posteriors

you have no honor, you are a lout

that is what you’re all about

 

you like to chase, women and girls

from the straight-haired to those with curls

even if they’re spoken for

you just want to get some more

 

you are a stinking, lousy bugger

I’d slap your face if I was your mother

for you treat girls with no respect

maybe because you have low intellect

 

I know my fist wants to give chase

to that piece of shit you call your face

I would not stop until I see blood

because I know you’re not my bud

 

*this was written about an acquaintance of mine

 

 

Mr. Perfect is Mr. Hyde

 

some guys like to show a different side

to the girl they’re wooing, they’re not Mr. Hyde

the perfect guy they seem to be

their dark insides, the girl can’t see

 

they show they’re religious, that they are kind

they’re real selves you just can not find

they even say that they like cute, little orphans

but really, they’d shoot them if they had a gun

 

to get a girl they would do most anything

they’ve sunk so low, they’re not human beings

but girls see them as damn good guys

girls are blind, I don’t know why

 

*I wrote this coz a girl I wooed got steady with this guy who was really a jerk

 

 

PESSIMIST=REALIST

 

I see things in a different light

you see day and I see night

 

others may see me as pessimistic

but I think I’m realistic

 

‘cause people today are full of shit

I judge them as I see fit

 

they say one thing, they mean another

turn your back, they’ll stick a dagger

 

‘trust no one’ the X-files say

for me this is the only way

 

be defensive is the thought for the day

or else at the end you might dearly pay

 

can you see that I am right

or do my words give you a bite

 

*I wrote this coz I was feeling shitty

 

 

Tummy Ache

 

a frown was painted on my face

the pain was back as I grimaced

the pain was in my bulging tummy

I ate too much of foods that are yummy

I hurriedly went to a store to buy

fresh, scented tissues from a handsome guy

then I went on, with my search

‘ooh!’ I said, as I suddenly lurched

then I saw what I’ve been looking for

‘aah! at last!’ as I tried the door

but then the door was solidly locked

and I cursed for my own bad luck

but down the hall I saw another one

and my legs wobbled as I began to run

I shouted ‘YES!’ as I turned the knob

then I turned red as I faced the mob

the room was full, it was packed

the fates are against me, this is a fact

then to my right, a door opened

the odor that wafted, I’d give it a ten

as I hurriedly parked my buns

I thought to myself ‘at last, I’m done’

then the thing slid out of my butt

emptiness then filled my gut

relief was plastered on my face

then I took a look at my own waste

last night’s corn was in my poo

I guess I forgot to give it a chew

I turned around and pulled up my jeans

yuck! I forgot my ass I should clean

so I pulled them down to have a see

the skid marks were there, oh man, oh gee

I tried and tried to wipe them off

‘yuck!’ I said ‘why are they soft?’

but I managed to clean them off in a while

and I opened the door with a beaming smile

a new man I was, and walked with a swagger

and thought to myself, nothing else could be better

as I stepped out into the world

someone was laughing, it was a girl

I flashed a smile in her direction

but still she laughed, what was the reason?

I looked at myself, to see why

then I saw I forgot my fly

so zipped it I did, with haste and grace

but still I felt quite red in the face

I’d always remember the day that I had

a big, bulging tummy that really felt bad

and to this day, I always make sure

days like that, I wouldn’t endure

I wrote this after my accident. It’s one of my "gross poems"

 

Pretty Deep

 

at first she had no dazzling effect

even though she had no defect

 

I just was not looking for love

but who know the plans of the one above

 

well after a while I began to see

she’s not bad most definitely

 

day passed day and I slowly fell

I’m in pretty deep, I think I could tell

 

for not a day passes by that I don’t think

of her which makes me tingly pink

 

when I see her, I feel I could fly

this is true, it’s not a lie

 

she’s the first thing in the morning

that I think of upon my awakening

 

and at night, she is the last

thought I have, wish it won’t pass

 

I’m in pretty deep, I’m in pretty deep

thinking of her, I am without sleep

 

my heart is gone for it is with her

I am sure, there is none other

 

I fall in love with her every week

so often it makes me feel like a geek

 

the things she does when we’re together

is so cute, I’m falling deeper

 

she’s the reason that the stars shine

in my sky, she looks divine

 

oh what in the world should I do

I’m at a lost, I wish I knew

 

to make her see that I love her

I think I’d best ask her mother

* I wrote that one when I was feeling silly

 

 

FINALS

 

I’m so happy it’s the semestral break

the finals I had was no piece of cake

it all happened in the month of October

still thinking about it makes me quiver

for I did not study, I just wrote

poems like this silly, little note

I definitely was not in the mood

to take the finals, but I did good

passed I did with flying colors

but I did not get an honor

but at least with them I’m done

and while I did I had some fun

 

*after the finals, I wrote this

 

 

Jitters

 

I have a crush who is so cute

when I get near her I become mute

the love bug bit me when I wasn’t looking

but really for her, my heart has been longing

I got her phone from a friend in school

" awesome! " I said, " that’s really cool! "

later that night, I called her up

I thought to myself , " oh please pick up! "

she answered the phone with a nice hello

then my knees turned to gooey jello

all I wanted was to ask her out

but just then I suddenly had doubts

but I found my voice at last

and when I spoke it was too fast

small talk this and small talk that

I talked about schoolwork while I sat

and then the time came to say the ‘thing’

I do really hope that she’s listening

" do you want to go to icebergs with me? "

"or maybe you’d like to see a movie? "

and then in my throat formed a big lump

will she say yes or will I get dumped

well, she said yes, "oh yeah! Hooray!

" it’s a date. " I said - " YEHEY! "

 

* this was written coz I don’t have the guts to ask a girl I like out. I’m shy.

 

 

SENsiTIVE

 

small things always affects me so

I let things affect me even though

they do not mean the things they do

and say some things that are not true

 

*I’m sensitive you know.

 

 

PARANOID

 

maybe things happen because of chance

and maybe because it’s pure circumstance

but I think some things are really planned

these things happen because they had a hand

*also paranoid

 

 

materialistic

 

people today are all about stuff

for me I feel I’ve had enough

buy a shirt they’ll ask what brand

"what! no brand!" they’ll reprimand

I still remember when I was young

"as long as you had one" was on their tongues

well people today don’t know what’s priceless

maybe it’s because most are heartless

*most people here are materialistic. I wrote this for them

 

 

always…

 

when you need shelter from the storm

when you need someone to keep you warm

if you feel no one cares for you

I’ll be there to pull you through

if you feel life’s too much to bear

I want you to know, I’ll always be there…

for you.

 

*wrote this for a friend of mine

 

rain

 

the rain comes down and I am happy

to my ears, its like a symphony

hear its sweet sounding melody

you can not say its a cacophony

soothe me it does with its pitter-patter

calming is its soft little chatter

ask me it does with what’s the matter ?

sympathizing is its sweet gentle manner

 

*I wrote this for the rain. I like it you see.

 

 

unknown?

 

the still & silent darkness lies ahead

you step forward and then fall

you wake up thinking you’re dead

and surrounded by green, grassy knolls

 

 
                                                       this one’s about the future
 

 

what is a friend?

 

a friend is someone who is a gift

that always gives our spirits a lift

 

a friend is there when the chips are down

he’ll cheer you up and be a clown

 

a friend laughs with you over a lot of things

together, you’ll face whatever life brings

 

a friend will bring a smile to your face

and make the world be a better place

 

*my own definition of a friend

 

 

CHRISTMAS

 

this cool December be of cheer

for Christmas comes but once a year

a year that’s full of ups and downs

from painted smiles to ugly frowns

 

it’s cold during this time of year

remembering those whom you hold dear

for this is the season to melt your heart

loved ones, you can’t stand being apart

 

so take my advice and put on a smile

never knowing, it could go for miles

hoping it’d reach those who live far

be they in their car or a noisy bar

 

and send a greeting to those who live near

maybe it’d make them breakdown in tears

let everyone feel the Christmas Spirit

slowly and gently, bit by bit

 

soon, the eve of Christmas shall come

and all will be joyous in His great kingdom

for the Son of God was born on this day

in His kingdom He shall have His way

 

and this way I talk is that of peace

peace to mankind and that’s the least

for goodness sprang forth upon His birth

on this planet, our very own Earth

*wrote this christmas of ‘99

 

I need prozac

 

life has given me a lousy hand

in this so called fucked up land

where the people are good at being dumb

its good that I haven’t yet succumbed

 

oh I live in a veritable hell

where all things bad are what really sells

life should come with a warning label

its not true what they say in fables

 

learn to deal with life I’ve done

and what I’ve learned is it’s no fun

I wish someone would end it for me

because I’m just too cowardly

when I wake up, I feel like shit

I feel as if I’m in a pit

A pit so dark and full of snakes

That’s why I wish I wouldn’t wake

 

But wake I do its sad, its true

I want to relive my life anew

Because I am not content with it

Too bad I was born with a few wits

 

Throughout the day I’m kinda numb

Feeding on the rich man’s crumbs

The rich are getting really rich

Progress isn’t really a cinch

 

I may be poor but I know how to be noble

Too bad the masses aren’t just able

But since they’re many and I’m only one

They think to my head I should put a gun

 

Put him out of his misery they say

And I really welcome this come what may

But they’re lousy cowards and can’t pull the trigger

Unlike those super black rapping niggers

 

This world is filled with hypocrites

They can judge a person in a little bit

They think they’re all so high and mighty

They’ll speak their mind at every opportunity

 

Well I’ve talked enough about other people

And now you see that life ain’t really simple

I may be depressed and in need of prozac

But it’s not true what they think that I’m wacked

 

Deal with it is what I wanna do

The good ones left in the world are too few

Soon I’m gonna do something drastic

But I’m telling you now that I’m no fanatic

*I wrote this a couple of months ago. I was feeling crazy that time.

 

 

 

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